Elements, part 2

Air

The air is warm and full of plum tree petals. I am taking a circular walk around and around the blocks of my son’s elementary school. My headphones are in, the sky is bright and my mind consumed by a storyteller. In the middle of my second lap I realize that there is a person walking on the sidewalk about a half of a block behind me, neither gaining nor retreating and definitely not walking a dog. I notice myself noticing them. What is that feeling? It is familiar. I turn around and do a double take because it is him. He sees me see him and calls my name. I turn back around and yell,

leave me alone!

He responds,

please, I want to talk to you. Please stop. Stop, I want to talk to you.

I know this trick. He has done this so many times and, in the past, I fell for it. 

In the past I would say,

fine, okay, what do you want to tell me?

I’d stop and look at him and he would look at me and he would say,

I just want to talk to you. I miss you.

I’d say,

what else is new? Didn’t I tell you that I am not interested in your tiresome story?

I am finally immune.  I’d say,

unless you are going to tell me that you have stopped lying, that you are finally taking responsibility for your actions and will stop ruining my life?  

Water

When I succumbed in the past and stopped to listen he would always say,

what do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? Why are you so mean?

Sometimes he would cry, like that time in the pouring rain when he cried and cried and I felt sorry for him, hugged him and couldn’t let go, stuck on to the tentacles protruding from his raincoat and drunk on poison. He would take my hand and tell me again that we have a special connection. I’d agree and smile, the rain turning into small rivers under our feet. 

Fire

This time I started walking faster and shouting,

stop following me! What are you doing here? How did you find me? For fucks sake. Why are you following me? Leave me alone, go away, go away.

I faintly heard him call out that he happened to be driving by and spotted me and decided to stop. My chest is on fire and my face is burning with rage.  I begin to run, find  my car and hide inside until my son is done with basketball practice and we go home. I lock the door, make dinner and play legos with my son. 

Earth

In my dream I walk down the carpeted stairs to my basement. The new floor is gone. In its place, a grave. A terrifying monster climbs out of the grave and into my basement and I scream like it is my last breath. I think,

how I could have built my house on the grave of such an evil spirit? I think about this as the monster reaches out for me.